'unconqer'd hope, thou bane of fear' cervantes

hello all! mom has been at me for some time to write on this blog and to be honest after i tanked the first two that i wrote i have been apprehensive. now i seem to be out of the woods. i attribute it to something i call getting caught in the crowning. something similar to a deer in the headlights. when first time fathers, speaking only for myself, see the face of the child they helped to create appear from the woman that they create this child with linear time ceases to exist. all of a sudden there is a complete and total understanding of the big bang. because fathers don't have this child growing inside them the first 9-12months after the birth is spent trying to put linear time back into an organized fashion. the one thing that will never find its way back is trying to recall your life without your child. it's as if they have have always existed. por su puesto: carrie and i new of each other in high school, and had some brief encounters with some chit chat. i remember a couple of instances, but now when i remember talking to carrie when i was 19 emery is now included in that memory. it's a weird i know. my advice to future fathers is that unless you are a trained proffesional, i.e. obgyn, nurse, midwife or mormon, stand with the mother and see your child for the first time together.
having given my disclaimer i would like to reintroduce myself. i am adam and i am emery dean's father. in this little human beings life i am the alpha, of course carrie's the omega and together we are the alpha and omega. as parents we rule the school. we don't have litmus test or some chart to tell us how we are doing, so what do we have to rely on? the personlity of our son. his happiness is a direct correlation to how we are doing and man if we aren't the most kick ass rockin parents. our son is so happy, so kind that whenever anyone gets around him, even the most sullen of sorts, they are boosted into a happy glowing smile. a lot of people will do the normal 'oh cute kid' routine, but then emery catches them off guard because he starts to interact and then they are both interacting and it becomes a tennis match of smiles. my favorite quote having to with this was at bar gernika, "why mister toothaker i believe your son is flirting with me." why yes yes he is.
emery is amazing he is just a sponge to the world around him and his growth is amazing. when we first brought emery home he fell asleep on my buddha and as i held him i took a mental note of his size. head under the chin, feet and butt at the belly button in the fetal position. now he's huge and he'll only getting bigger. he's also starting to do the toddler talk, using sign language, flipping through pages of books and saying,'lur lur lur' as he looks at each page, running until he trips then getting up and running again and smilling all the time. he never stops smiling only intervals of rest. he's also determined, supremely determined and that is very refreshing to see that quality as well. there is much more that i want to write, but i need to save my material for future blogs, not that there won't be a cascade of new material yet to come;however, brevity is the soul of wit.
i was hoping to start an interactive game with the blog readers at home. it's called 'where in boise is emery dean toothaker'. emery and i have a set list of places that we go: the ymca, bar gernika(a basque restaraunt) the boise art museum, the library, the zoo and camels back park. bar gernika and the y are usually same day visits. what the reader will do is get a di and in the order listed above a destination will correspond with a number on the di. you the reader will create a pot of what ever you want it to be and role the di. save the numbers of your group, because you will need more than one person, and when the next blog comes up you will read of our adventure. the winner of course will get the pot of what ever you want it to be and a story of emery's adventure. pictures of course will be included. some pictures have already been taken so you get to see our son in these environments. some those pictures are now on a cd in moms care and will eventually be posted. to our friends in seattle you are sorely missed and we long for your influence in our sons life. hopefully one day we can remedy that, but for now i would like to end on a quote by george burns, "happiness is having a close knit extended family that lives in another state."